My husband was diagnosed with throat cancer in 1994. He was 41. Of course, he first had radiation which worked for a while but then the cancer came back and he had a complete laryngectomy in 1995. Then he had chemo. He at first used a Servox machine and was very frustrated with it in the beginning. Some people could not understand him. People who were in contact with him daily could understand him well however.
He then had the insert which Victoria talks about from Dr. Blom. He has used this as a way to talk for several years now. He inserts his own prosthesis and cleans them himself. Most people can understand him well.
He has only had to tube feed after surgeries. Normally he eats food with sauces and unless he has overdone his physical capacity for the day he does fine.
My husband also had a total pharygectomy two years ago as they found a different cancer when he had a checkup.
He has been depressed as he was a construction laborer who liked his job which he now cannot physically do. But he says he has been here to see his daughters wedding, his son get a degree from college, and several grandchildren born. He believes this was well worth the pain and depression after surgery.
I hope everything goes well with you but I would never give up!