Hey ladies thanks for answering back. Thanks for sharing you tx info Diane, you also sound like a strong lady and I continue to ask God to look out for you.
This morning I'm going to Anchorage to see a new oncologist. Im dumping my first guy because I had to travel all the way to seattle to get any options and then when I told him Saul Rivkin suggested I do taxol he's like "oh we dont need him I can give you taxol" frig that, I dont want to have a doc that I have to research everything myself and then fill him in...egad...whenever Im the smartest one in the room it's a very scary situation!!
Hopefully this new guy is hip, I want the taxol, not crazy about loosing the hair again but mostly because my ears are cold! Saul told me I could tamoxifen too but I just asked him "knowing what you know of dealing with ovarian cancer for 45 years WHAT would you do?" He said take the taxol...
Beginning to understand concept of living one day at a time, because I've started a dialog with my husband and kids I think I'm beginning to work through some of the fear and sadness that this f cking disease creates. It has made me realize that we all gotta go..but I sure dont want to die, yet I sure dont want to see my beloved husband go first, nor do I want to watch my remaining siblings or kids go...geez I just dont like any of the options...its hard to grow up and face life on life's terms... sometimes I wish I was dumb as a stick, like some of the people Ive met in life, they dont think at all of the future-or what things mean, they just live...so maybe Im the dumb one. As a nurse I've always hated to SEE people suffer now I know how they FEEL..its a humbling experience but in a sort of twisted way Im glad its happening....I've always thought that empathy connects us like nothing else and since feeling alone is one of the worst of all human emotions, and the major cause of suicide, anything that connects us emotionally in the end is a good thing...wow, heavy, I'm really into verbalizing this am....thanks for listening. Colleen