Everyone has given great bits of advice. I would just like to add that part of grief and facing cancer is not only greiving for what was but also what will never be. So often when family members are estranged, in the back of their minds somewhere, they may imagine a future day when the relationship is mended and things are 'whole' again. Facing the possibility of terminal illness brings lots of feelings to the forefront. For your husband and his mother, their future is now. I hope they are able to come to some closure with each other so that both can enjoy peace.