I took care of my mother during the end of her battle with pancreatic cancer. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself until 11-04. She went into the hospital after the 2nd bad reaction to chemo. She was diagnosed in 2-02. She had the whipple and everything was fine. The tumor showed back up this august and they tried a new chemo but it was just too harsh for her. She went home on hospice 11-13-04. I watched her turn into a child from a very strong and independant woman. I watched the most amazing spititual experiences. I was completely calmed about death. The last 4 days is the only time when we couldn't communicate. Even though I am not sure just how lucid our conversations played out in her mind. She couldn't eat the last 2 weeks and she lost so much weight. The hardest part was watching her body deteriorate. It was a total of 3 weeks and it seemed to drag on forever during that time but looking back, it was so quick. I wanted to to go because I couldn't bare to watch her suffer. She was so ready to go also. She was so funny at times because she kept asking what to do next so she could die. I told her that I don't think God is going to allow someone up there who is more controlling than him up there. She only wanted certain people around but of course everyone was there. The strange thing was, was that the only people she wanted around were there when she passed. I think she saw that and decided that she better go now. I guess she never gave up control after all. I have had very strange experiences since she has passed and I am convinced that it is her making things happen. We discussed certain things before she died and I truely believe that they are still around after they are gone. Has anyone else out there felt their loved one around?
Jodi B.