Marie,
I know exactley how you feel as I lsot my WONDERFUL mom to cancer on June 21, 2007. I don't cry every day but i do think about her every day and I keep reliving those last couple of days. My mom was in the hospital for tests and was supposed to go to a rehab to get her walking but she never made it there she went downhill so fast and to this day I still don't know what happened. I did expect my mom to pass away but not now. She fought a very courageous battle and never lost hope and that is why we never discussed her dying or really said our goodbyes. I don't think I could have even said goodbye. It is very hard trying to get back to a normal life, sometimes I feel nothing will be normal again and I know my mom would not want me to be so sad and to go on with life. I lost my dad 5 years ago and I know that now my mom and dad are together which is comforting. I also know that as time goes on it does get easier. Holidays birhtdays anniversaries are the hardest or just something weill trigger a thought..I know i have gone on and on and I do apologize for that. I too needed to talk.
Sandi