Dear Jaq,
I am so so sorry for the loss of your dearly beloved little Trixie. It is clear that your heart is broken right now.
You WILL be okay but it is going to take a bit and you will be very very sad.
Annie, my dog with TCC, is my replacement dog for a little guy I brought home nearly 27 years ago. When I adopted him, he had been hit by a car and had three broken legs. Neither the vets nor I knew for sure if he would ever walk again. It took a bit for his muscles to get strong, but he did, and he became the love of my life. When he died, I thought I would too, I was crying so much that my (now) husband sent me off to a psychiatrist.
It took me two years to feel I was ready for a replacement for my buddy (I had two other dogs at the time, but though I loved them, I didn't have the same bond) So into my life came Annie. She took one look at the hole in my heart and decided that was where she belonged--and there she has stayed for these 12 years.
So, Jac, it won't be tomorrow, but one day, you will feel better, I promise.
Until then, you will always have the support and concern from your fellow dog lovers on this board.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, dear.
Marty