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Watching My Mom Starve To Death

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Subject: watching my mom starve to death
Date: 09/19/2007
My mom died from esophageal cancer. She was diagnosed in Dec. 2006. Had very little opportunity to eat after that. She had a feeding tube placed in March 2007. Went through 6 weeks of hell with cheomoradiation. Had her esophagus dialted 5 times to help eating. Developed a fistula and had  a stent placement but continued to cough violently for the next week. Went to the ER one week after the placement due to pain. Found a new fitsula lower then the tumor. Keep in mind, thoughout this whole time, my mom had occasion to believe that her tumor had been killed... didn't happen... it grew bigger. Then in the hospital, the doctors told us that the only thing keeping her alive was the feeding tube and it would be best to stop feeding her.  We thought it was the right thing to do. She died 8 days later... having no water or food during that time. She knew she was being starved to death, although I don't think she felt pain due to the morphine. She was coherrant most of the time and felt that maybe she would be better if she had something to eat or drink, maybs she should walk around or try to get better. Basically, she wanted to live.  So the last night, she could hardly get her breath. In the morning, I went in around 4:30 am and she woke up and asked for oxygen.  That was the last thing she said. Her toungue was so swollen from dehydration, it was hard to see her like that. She died that day at around 6:30 PM. I know she is not suffering now, but it's hard to go through that even with hospice. I miss her.

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