Watching My Mom Starve To Death

On 2/13/2008 Betz08 wrote:

 

On 2/6/2008 Hanginwithstang wrote:

I am really glad I found this board, I posted something about this in the Nutrition section.  My mom is in stage IV of abnocarcinoma of unknown origin.  She has begun to vomit and is not able to even hold down water most times, so getting nausea medication in her system is very hit or miss.  

She is very alert and is aware that she's not eating and when she can eat, is not eating enough to sustain her and make her strong again.  She gets so angry with me a lot because I've always "fixed" things for her and made things in her life easier and this I can't fix.  I have tried clear liquids, baby food, bland foods, you name it and it all comes back up.  She's been in and out of the hospital so many times that she's refusing to go back but she's refusing to give in as well.  I don't know where to go with all of this because I feel as if I'm watching her starve to death and the harder part is watching her KNOW it..........ty both for sharing your stories. 

I got some very useful info from hospice that tells you all about the physical and emotional stages of death. One sign of the end nearing is detatchment from family members and close friends. Your mom is not consiously pushing you away but rather preparing herself and you for the transition into the spiritual world. Think of this as a loving action and not hateful. She has to "let go" in a sense and it is completely normal for her to seem alomst angry with you and eventually not speak or show much emotion at all. Just continue to love her and tell her what she means to you.

You might want to talk to your docs about reglan. It dissolves under the tongue and is great at controlling nausea.

I don't mean to sounds as though your mom is dying, just keep this perspective in mind when she gets mad at you. It gives me a lot of comfort and understanding as to what my dad is feeling.