I agree 110% with Beth. As terrible as your loss is, think of what Jodi would want you to do. She would want you to focus on the little girl you both share and you cannot do this with alcohol. There are counselors out there who know how to deal with the grief you are experiencing. Please check with your doctor, clergy, family, anyone who can direct you in that direction. Little Maddi lost her mommy, don't let her lose her daddy as well. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are but it is possible that Jodie is with you and Maddie and if you are sober and look for signs she will reveal herself and lend you comfort. May God give you the strength and guidance to help you to be the father you need to be. I'll also keep you and Maddie in my prayers.