Hi, First time on this message board. Finally made the time. My husband became jaundis the end of May. He had a stint put in. He had 2 Endoscopies done by two Dr.'s. They felt there was a tumor by the tests results coming back normal and abnormal.. So they knew there was a tumor but they could not locate it. One of those Dr.'s sent us to Mass General in Boston to further this. Thank goodness he did. We went there and they did a 3rd Endo. and found the tumor. They told us his bile duct and tumor on top of the pancreas was cancer. In July he had a Whipple Procedure done by a Dr. Fernandez., phenominal Dr. The Dr. took part of his stomach, 40% of his pancreas all of his gall bladder and 31 lymph nodes, two had cancer. He was in the hospital for 10 days, he ended up getting an infection in his incision so we were there a little bit longer. Well, my husband has had 6 treatments of chemo. He goes every Wed. for 3 weeks a break and then start up again. His incision just healed this past week. We met with the oncology radiation Dr. They hope to start chemo./radiation in Nov. After three years of retirement my husband got a job valet parking at a hospital and loves it. He is now on a leave from work. I work full time, 2 eve'.s a week also so I can get my husband to chemo. on Wed. That does work well, it is hectic but easier then trying to get family members and then when one can't make it and work out getting someone else to take him. We also have a 14 yr.old boy who is busy, busy with sports and such. One nice thing my husbands daughter just had a baby two weeks a go so that is a WONDERFUL thing. Right now though our house hold is angry. I know I am angry and very tired and sad. My husband is VERY angry. My husband can do some things around the inside of the house but that is it. We all try to take DEEP BREATH's try really hard to let things go at times BUT with my nature I feel guilty when things have to get done. There are somethings that have to get done before the snow falls. I should ask friends and family BUT feel they have things going on too. It seems that Fri. and Sat after chemo. my husband gets side effects from the chemo. We try not to make too many plans aroundthen. Well, one Fri. we decided to go to dinner. My husband did not have chemo. that Wed. before, we thought he would be ok. Well, he got sick and slept all afternoon and into the night. Well, my son was looking forward to this and became very upset when we could not go. Try to explain then but would not listen so when he cooled down, the next day we explained things. Tried to be very honest with this 14 yr. old. Last week my husband did not go to his football game. My son asked where he was. I told him he wasn't feeling well. I now notice that every time his step dad(my husband) can't do something with us he will ask me if he is going to die. SO,SO,SO. VERY EMOTIONAL. It is so-so difficult working, being there for my husband and son. My husband is so angry as I typed in earlier. So I know I become more angry. I have told myself that at least 1X month I need to do something for myself and not feel guilty. My husband is not a real loving man and at times lately I have needed that. I can't change someone. So, I have an extremely hard full time job, my husband has Bile Duct Cancer and my 14 yr. trys to deal with this. One minute at a time is my Motto lately. BUT I am there for my family. I felt good getting this off my chest. I just feel so BAD for my husband I try real hard to just go with the flow and think of what he is going through. As I say this is just another chaper in the book. Oh, my husband is on the chemo., Gemzar.