My little sister who is 24, a recent college grad and unmarried, has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Small Cell Endometrial Cancer. She was diagnosed Jan of this year. I'll spare ya all the details of the past treatments and such (I'm sure you know much of the drill) but our mom has been a problem since day 1. She doesn't want to talk about cancer. She doesn't want my sister to talk about cancer. She leaves the room when it is discussed. BUT she insists on making all the decisions about my sister's care without knowing all the info. She has placed every ounce of her trust in one doctor and does whatever this doctor says even if it the only reason for it is for the convenience of the doctor and even if it makes life harder for my sister.
I can't tell you how angry and upset I am that my mom runs rougshod over my sister's wishes. My sis is too weak and vulnerable to stand up for herself and if I try to do it for her mom just throws the "she's not your daughter" stuff in my face. Sis does not want mom to be upset or anyone to fight so she goes along with whatever mom wants even if she just got through telling me privately its not at all what she wants.
The doctor has missed cancer that was present. She insists on everything being done at her hospital, an hour's drive away, eventhough such things could be done more conveniently here at our local hospital. Never has the doctor uttered the words "we'll do whatever is best and most convenient for the patient". They do what is most convenient and easiest for THEM. No consideration for what would make my sis more comfortable or happier. But mom insists that this doc is going to save her "baby" and if Doc says jump mom says "Out which window?"
Anyone here have any ideas or insight into how to help mom allow my sis to take more control of her care? Any ideas on how to get my mom to see that she may not be the most objective person to be making decisions for her grown daughter, given especially that she refuses to discuss cancer or my sis's case or the details of what is going on? I have reached my level of frustration and frankly if I didn't love my sister so much I'd say screw it and never talk to my mom again. Her behavior in this has utterly disappointed me.