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Stage 3 Breast Cancer - I'm Scared

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Subject: Stage 3 Breast Cancer - I'm scared
Date: 10/15/2007

I am in remission from stage 3 breast cancer, lymph node cancer and unproven but speculated lung cancer.  I'm thankful for the remission, but the side effects never let me forget the cancer.  I have arthritis from the Tamoxifen, no veins from chemo, my hearing and vision keep slowly changing, I have lympedema, and I struggle with fatigue.  I feel like two people - one person who is so thankful to be in remission, to have family, to be on permanent disability to deal with my side effects, and so on; and another person who never loses the thought of cancer because of the side effects.  Also, Doctors tend to treat me as if they expect a return of the cancer (mine was very aggresive) and that makes it hard to let go too.  I admit I'm feeling a lot of fear right now and my usual "jump in to denial" tactics aren't working.  How does a person let go of the fear?

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