Hi everyone,
It was five weeks ago today that my best friend, my Mom died. Here I am, at 3:20 a.m., sitting here writing a note to strangers. I can't sleep tonite, it's almost like I am at hospice center again and it's all happening again. I didn't sleep for almost four straight days when my Mom died, it was very surreal. I am not crying, nor really upset, most of the time. I worry that I am not grieving enough or correctly. I really cried, a mission tears, the month before my Mom passed away, as I realized that I was losing her. Is that why I am not super upset? Or, is five weeks enough to really feel better? Is it possible to grieve BEFORE someone dies? I read somewhere that you should 'jumpstart' your grief by looking at memorabilia and/or listening to music that makes you think of your loved one. What do you all think? That seems a little self-injurious to me. Let me know what you are experiencing and if you think I should go get help.