I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are completely entitled to be scared, sad, angry, etc. Don't let people tell you otherwise. Your husband and mother-in-law are being selfish and verbally abusive in this situation. Do not apologize for what you are feeling. Take one day at a time. Embrace the love of your children. Visit the board for support. Gravitate as much as you can to positive things, and stay away from those that are toxic. Blessings to you and good luck.