Please Read
I need to know if someone can understand my feelings. I found out about two years ago my Dad had stage 4 Esophageal cancer. I am very close to my dad he is like my best friend. Since the Diagnosis I moved back with them to spend time together. We went the whole Two years wit nothing but good results. Every time we would have a cat scan I would worry the whole time about what the results would be. Even when the results were good I would bug my dad to make sure he felt ok. I was always worring.
Anyway, a few months back my dad started feeling really bad. His arm went numb and he had trouble walking. We then took him to the doctor and was told he had ten brain tumors. Needless to say the prognosis was not good. When I found this out I was very upset and cried alot. The problem is now I cannot cry and have no emotion period. I feel like I am in a haze. I have accepted the news and know that if my dad passes he will be with God. I try every day to spend time with him and hate going to work. I wih I could just spend time with him and sleep the other times. I can't think about how he was because I am now used to what he has progressed to. I know that if he passes I will feel loss and he knows how much I love him, and that comforts me. Why do I feel so blank and emotionless? Am I in shock or what? I know its not because I don't love him. I just feel wierd about all of this.