Mark,
I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis but am thrilled that you've responded to the chemo.
She had her surgery in Dallas at UT Southwestern by Dr. Michael DiMaio. He specializes in this surgery. I don't know where you live, but do whatever you have to in order to get to a doc who know what they are doing. We have a friend that had their surgery in a small town hospital and had to have it again when the cancer came back at the same spot. MD Anderson, Memorial Sloan Kettering (NY), et al are where you need to be. Having said that, she'd definitely have the surgery again. It's a big deal and a life changing surgery, but it's better than the alternative. The friend I mention earlier has done it 2 times now. His last surgery was in July. We saw him a couple of weeks ago and he looks great.
You said you are stage 4. Has your cancer spread beyond the stomach? What part of your stomach is the cancer in? My wife's was in the top, which is a far more aggressive cancer. If its in the lower, the survival rate is much higher.
And, there are some new drugs that are on trial now that some patients have had a total response to. Don't believe you are doomed. You may be incurable. You may not. But, with the new drugs, you may be able to manage your disease for years.
Get to one of the major centers. It is worth it. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.
Greg