BY ALL MEAN......... SWITCH!!!! Oncologists are a breed of there own, as far as how they treat people. Some are overly untruthfully optomistic, others are dry and overly truthful. When they have patients, the need to be able to 'feel them out' and see what kind of answers the person and ther family really want to hear. A friend of mine told me something awhile back, that is ver true. Thats why the call it "practicing medicine", which means they dont have a black and white answer, everything is VERY GRAY. Ever person is different, and based on living in a sue happy society, they run scared on what they can or should say, because if it ends up being wrong..some one coms back and says... YOU said this or that, and it wsnt true and my love one died in 6 months, when you said something else.
Best way to find a Doctor, is to ask other people you know. See if there is a msg board for your treatment center of choice. I was in the same position, living in a rural area, I went to the closest one. My Doctor was the WORST. Thought she was goddess of Oncology, and you as a mere human, had no reason to know, let alone question her reasoning or choices or worth her time to bother with explaining anything to you, you were just to do as told, and not question. She lasted about 4 weeks, and I was gone. She never thought I needed to know my stage, or diagnosis. I only got the answers to my questions from my surgeon. I have stage 3 aggressive non-hormonal breast cancer, that spread thru my lymph system. Your time, mindset, and personal well being is very important when it comes to this disease. Unfortuately, there is TOO MUCH $ to be made in treatments, so at this point in time, there is no way there going to look really hard at a cure. I wish you luck in your choices, and hope you can find a good oncologist that fits your needs as a patient and family.