According to my first oncologist, I should be nearly on my death bed by now. Instead I'm feeling better every day. She tried to emotionally manipulate me into treatments with her dire prognoses.
I was fortunate to live in a larger city where I could find another oncologist with more knowledge than the first as well as a great personality. It will be much harder in your case. Would it be possible to travel to another town for oncology appointments? Having a doctor who brings you down after every visit actually makes you sicker, I think. Do whatever you can to get your husband to a better doctor.