Subject: RE: Switching Oncologists
Date: 11/16/2007
On 11/13/2007
Cropsey wrote:
Please help!
My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist. The current physician is so very discouraging. We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion. This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year." This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)
Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors. She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment. We know that. That's not the problem! It's his personality and lack of kindness.
What can we do? There's only the one office in our town. There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.
If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.
Thank you so much......
Eileen
Hello, my mother has pancreatic cancer and the cancer center here has four doctors. One of them sounds just like the one you are describing. He even went so far as to tell her if she had any hopes of beating this, then she needed to reconsider and realize that she was dying. She was down for two weeks after that visit, like she just gave up. My sister-in-law called the center and told them how rude and cold-hearted he was and that we refused to see him again.She also told them that we expected an apology from him. When the visit came around to see him, we refused and went straight on in for the chemo next door. While we were waiting on the nurse to fix the chemo, the doctor came in and ask if we could come into a room with him. My mother finally agreed.Once we were in the room with the door shut, my brother and myself went off on him.I told him I didn't see how he could lay his head down at night and actually sleep. He stood up walked over to my mother and apologized. He said he was very sorry and that it would never happen again.We've only seenhim once more since then and he has a whole new attitude.I think sometimes they just don't realize the toll this takes on the victim of this awful disease and the family. We have spoken to several other patience and they have all noticed the difference in his attitude and "bedside manner". It is so important to keep their hopes and spirits up throughout this and something like this can really destroy a person inside. Just keep telling your husband to not pay him any attention. If nothing else, maybe you could consider another center in another town close by.I wish you and your husband the best.My thoughts and prayers are with you.