On 11/17/2007
Broken Heart wrote:
Sometimes I just don't know how I can continue with this whole deal. My husband of 11 years at age 42 was diagnosed with Stage II pancreatic cancer in July 2005. We have two beautiful daughters now ages 8 and 3. He had been a stay at home parent for six years at the time of the intial diagnoses and it has been so hard for our eldest daughter as he was her primary caregiver for her entire life. She was definitely a Daddy's girl. After six very difficult months of surgery, chemo and radiation treatments we had the gift of nine months where he was doing much better. We went on a major vacation that summer and enjoyed making some wonderful memories. Then last October we learned of growths on his liver which was confirmed as the pancreatic cancer in November. He immediately wanted to have a just becuase party and I therefore had one for him. Then come December he starts an affair it escalates through this March when I mistakenly find out. He denies and lies about it but then admits to it but continues to lie. There are so many details I could go on about for quite some time but the bottom line is I have been devasted by his actions. Now as he continues to get sicker I find that I often just don't know what to do. It is all just too much. If anyone can offer some suport and/or suggestions it would be really appreciated.
Broken hearted cargiver.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I do believe you want to do the best for your children and only you know what that is.
If you feel you can not give him the care that he needs, then you should make a plan a.s.a.p., i.e seperate apartment ect...
I would tell the other women to feel free to come to his apartment and help him with the care he will need.
You gave your best and did nothing wrong and you have got to feel good about that. I would hope you do something or let it go before the kids realize he is sick again.
As far as religion goes, he already broke any commitment of wed lock.
I can understand if he felt he needed to have every exsperience before he faced the road ahead of him, however that does not make you any less hurt .We can not understand what it is like to face this road. But he had to realize what he would lose and still made the choice.
Good Luck . I do not think there is a wrong answer, They both Suck.