I am so sorry this happened to you and your family. I lost my Mom on October 1st and she was only 63. She was diagnosed October 2007 with colon cancer that spread to her liver... in May it went to her lungs, but we thought chemo was doing okay... we had a great family cruise in August, but when we returned she immeidiately took a turn for the worse and we learned it spread all over and was very bad, my Mom was bedridden for seven weeks before she passed. I am so haunted by those seven weeks, the fear on her face, it was just horrible and I can't seem to get over it. I have been told by many that eventually those moments will fade andI will remember the good times, but for now I can only explain it as haunted by those terrible moments. I cry a lot, I think about it a lot and I still feel as this is all unbelievable. I am sure this is all normal and in time things seem to get less bad, although I don't know anyone gets over losing their Mom, yet alone when you lose them so young, you kind of feel cheated, as if it would be easier to accept if they were older. Thank you for sharing... take comfort in your kids and their wonderful view of life! I know it is so hard to smile and you feel guilty if you laugh... but I am sure both our Moms would want us to live! Easier said than done... trust me, I know. Take care during this hard holiday season! God Bless!