My 24 yo sister has been put in hospice care. The cancer has stopped responding to treatment and has spread everywhere. The hospice nurse thinks she there's not much time left, though of course these things are unpredictable.
My other sister and I spent the last few days making funeral preparations, as much as we could ahead of time, because our parents just couldn't handle it. We weren't sure we could handle it after the fact so we took care of it while we still have a couple of brain cells left in our heads.
This is the most painful part of the whole trial we have been through with my sister's cancer. She is comfortable with the pain meds and sleeps most of the time, thank God for that. Seeing her suffer on top of all this would just be unbearable. But its now more than any time before that I need support and comfort from friends and family. And yet I haven't heard a peep from any of my friends since Liz was placed on hospice. I am so disappointed, so hurt. It only adds to my pain that I also feel abandoned on top of watching my sister die. I just don't understand and I can't bring myself to call them. I think I'd just be bitter towards them right now for not calling me.
Does this make me a selfish awful person? I think it would only make me angrier for them to show up at the funeral and offer condolences when I really want them to reach out to me now. Oh sure, wait til the funeral, the social easy part for people to attend when Liz is cleaned up and looks peaceful in her casket. Avoid us when she is jerky and confused and dying. Cowards. Oops....my anger is showing. It just sucks that I am watching my baby sister die, SUCKS!
Thanks for letting me rant.....