I know exactly how you feel. Please hang in there and come to this board for the support that you need.
I tend to write alot to let out my emotions that I keep bottled up. Here is something that kind of applies.
I hope it helps even a little to know that we know how you are feeling at least somewhat.
What they don’t see…….
They say
You are so strong
They see
me doing what I have to for my family
They see
me put on a brave face
They don’t see
how many tears I cry
They don’t see
me fall apart daily
They don’t see
the terror in my heart
They don’t see
how much my life has changed
They don’t see
how this has changed me
They don’t see
the loneliness that I feel
They don’t see
how their avoidance hurts me
They don’t see
fear in their children’s eyes
They don’t see
because their life is still intact
They don’t see
because they still don’t appreciate what they have
They don’t see
how scared I am
They don’t see
because they don’t look
They don’t see
because they don’t want to see
They don’t see
because they don’t ask
They don’t see
how much it hurts me
That they don’t see