In november my mother passed away from small cell lung cancer. Her battle went on for over a year and a half. I was 19 and motherless. To put this lightly, my world as it was ceases to exist. I have a job that probably is hating me I was off for over 3 weeks for work around the time of her death and after. Now i cant seem to go a week without calling off because i just cant get myself out of bed. My birthday wasnt even a month after her death and I didnt want to get out of bed and I still dont. I dont know what to do with myself, I am grumpy and crabby at everyone who gets in my way. I am so lost and confused. I do have a sister but we both have our own pain that is way to big to try to help/support the other. I do have a fiance but im not the type of person to cry about ANYTHING in front of people. I cried the day she was diagnosed, the day they told us she had probably 12 hrs left and at her funeral. I cry at random stuff like the fact I couldnt get a can open the other day. Seriously I dont know what to do with myself or with anyone else. My pain is swollowing me whole and my heart is no longer even into shreads. Its gone. Along with her. What do I do? What do I think? How am i suppose to live without my mom?