Honestly, I think you should seek counseling. I have the same feelings because of my Dad's diagnosis, and when my stepdad died of brain cancer. I made an appointment last week with my Primary MD and she referred me to a counselor. I am also on anti-depressants. I know the medication for the depression is only a temporary fix but it is a start. There is no easy way of moving on once your loved one has passed. One day at a time, one month at a time, one year at a time. I have realized I need to accept things for what they are and take care of myself. Is there anyway you can take family leave? Maybe talking to your doctor and taking some time off beause of stress for a few months until you really grieve.