I was also 19 years old when my mother died from lung cancer six months ago. I was horrified with the thought of not being around her. It was the worst day of my life in end of July. Though i realized something at 4 in the morning before she died that i should not mourn my mothers death but instead make her time on earth lasting. That is why i try to me the best person i can be so that her life's impact on me is a positive thing. There are still times when i break down cry over stupid little things like a song or drive fast which reminds me over her. Though i cherish those moments with all my heart because those were the good times we shared instead of the las weeks of her life which i hope i can forget so my image is her laugh or smile when the cancer didn't effect her. In the end i just hope this helps with the grieve and mourning of your mother. Bless you and your family