I really feel for you and the first thing I can suggest is to go see a therapist so that you can really talk about it and cry about it. Support groups are wonderful too. Keep on looking, don't give up.
HAH!! I should be saying the above to myself. Mom Mother was just diagnosed 2 days ago (she's 85) very active and outgoing. She's still my Mom even though of the differences in our ages. I still feel the same and I'm very worried.
I cry all the time. I think you get into moods where you just can't stop it. You're probably a very emotional person and that's just the way you're going to be. Please remember that your Mom wouldn't want you to feel this way. She would want you to be vibrant and connected to your life, your job, your friends, your fun!!
I'll say a prayer for you and please say a prayer for me too?