I just read your post, I hope you are feeling better. Let me ask you, do you have family? Are they with you or calling you? Do you talk about your feeling with others? My mom has stage IV cervical cancer doing ok but never says much. I always wonder what could possibly be going through her mind. But she always says she is fine. Please talk to someone or how about church? Try to stay busy even if its just sitting reading a book. I hope you feel better. I believe it will get better soon for you.