I just found this website and discussion group a few days ago while looking for answers to my own questions. I wish I had found it a couple of years ago. I truly emphathize with your situation. You don't mention what sort of treatment, if any, your husband is undergoing. Two-and-a-half years ago (at age 58) I was diagnosed with stage 3 bladder cancer. By the time we got to surgery, it had spread to my prostate, some of my lymph nodes, and the ureter going to my right kidney. After a successful surgery, I underwent 8 chemo treatments. During that 10 week period, I acted just terrible towards my wife. Let me just say, that under normal circumstances we have a very beautiful and loving relationship. Unfortunately, I knew what I was doing and couldn't stop myself. She claims it wasn't that bad, but I know it was. At least it was for me. I blame it on the chemo, as well as my own insecurities about what was happening with my own body.
And I wasn't even terminal.
Last October, I was diagnosed with lung cancer, as well as bone cancer in both hips, a rib, and the base of my skull. This time it is "treatable," not curable, and for some reason I missed the nasty stage during the treatment phase of radiation and chemo.
I know how tough it must be on the kids, and I pray for your family. Just try remember the good times and understand your husband isn't really himself right now. This is a horrible disease and all of us know how it changes lives.