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So Sad

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Subject: So sad
Date: 01/02/2008

I'm 44 years old and just lost my mother to breast cancer on Dec 26th.  She was first diagnosed in 04 - had mastectomy then was on hormone therapy until Dec 06 when they found it had spread to her lungs.  She fought hard for almost a year until the other day when she passed.  I never go online for help nor am I the type of person to talk about my personal problems, but I just can't seem to get it out of my mind.  The funeral was on Monday and she had he funeral of a Monarch.  I gave her everything she would have wanted.  My mother was very particular. I can't believe she is gone. She was only 66 yrs old.  Right up to the day they released her into Hospice Care she talked about getting better so she could do more chemo.  It wasn't until 2 days before she died that she realized it was hopeless.  She never gave up and fought until her last breath.

I was at her side when she died with my daughter (10) and my husband right there.  I never thought she would die.  I thought she would live to be an old woman like my grandmother and her mother before her.

 

The hardest time is the morning when I wake up and realize that she isn't here.  She won't be calling me to talk about nothing.  This is the most difficult thing in my life. 

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