Hi to All: I come to the boards as a sort of therapy. It helps me to be able to help others (at least I hope I am). Christmas was hard but we managed. We talked about Robbie, had a few tears, had a special gift for him that can go out to the cemetery in the spring - a Thomas Kincade Mobile and wind chime with the verse -If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane I's walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again. The giref counsellor that Robbie's 2 little girls and I are seeing told us to put something under the tree for Robbie because it would be like a large elephant was in the room otherwise. Robbie's oldest daughter (9years old) told us she had a headache and a stomache - all of that disappeared after we opened the "special gift". She confided later that she felt sick because Daddy did not have a Christmas gift. I am still in deep grief - missing my beloved son every day. I have had some people tell me to go back to work and my own mother (she is a very hard woman) has told me on several occasions that I knew from the beginning that Robbie was terminal and he is now dead, buried and in his grave - get on with it. She does not want to speak or hear about him. I need to speak about my wonderful boy. He is my hero. I cry daily for him and I will know when I am ready to begin to live again. I know that I will never "get over it" and I will never really accept his loss I will just learn to live with it. I hope that I am not too unhappy for most of you. I really do believe that Robbie is safe in Jesus' arms and that he will be waiting for me at Heaven's Gate, and until that time I will continue to do what Robbie told me "one day at a time Mom - one day at a time". Hugs to all and many prayers for all who have lost dear ones to this beast and many prayers for recovery for all of those still fighting the demon.
God Bless
Love Lynn