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How Do You Cope ?

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GailEngland
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Subject: How do you cope ?
Date: 01/12/2008

I have alway been so close to my Father,  Whenever he has a problem I always seem to sort it .  But not this time.  My Father has been on a long journey so far , un diagnosed upper bowel cancer, advanced secondry liver cancer and now Stomach cancer.  I have been to every appointment and treatment session . Enduring with him the highs and the lows but now i feel i am failing my Father as I am struggling to cope.  I live two hours away from my parents home, have 3 children, a wonderful husband , lots of pets and a home which is being transformed to include a granny annexe (for my Mother when the dreaded dead is complete).  My Father came to me for Christmas but was ill with excessive vomitting which I thought was the chemo, but as the sickness continued it suddenly became apparent there was another more sinister problem.  He was then admitted to Hospital had further tests which showed his bowel was completely blocked therefore he could no longer eat or drink, the bombshell was dropped to a very alert man.  I always thought at this stage you were probably in and out of sleep( I have learned something myself ) My Father was not ready to die just yet. We were all clutching at straws looking for another option, the options to us were now becoming limited.  We were then offered a stent , it would make a gap in the tumor so Dad could eat a simply diet of soup and jelly .  We took this option and Dad had the Operation today .  He is very sore but we pray he can come home and have a couple of months with some quality of life.  I have sobbed all day but writing this article has been rather cathartic for me.  Please if anyone can tell me how to cope I would be grateful.

Regards Gail (England)

 

P.S  My Dads care in hospital has been super, people actually care and could see that my Father even though he could not eat or drink was not ready to be sent home to die.

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