Mike - I read your post a couple of days ago and didn't respond because I just couldn't find the words. As you may remember, I lost my Dad to the first round of chemo for his stage IV EC in June. I did consider it divine intervention to make certain he did not have to endure the end stage of this disease. Since then, other wonderful warriors whose stories I've been following and loved ones I had written to have had to succumb to this hideous disease. Each and every time that has happened, it hits me hard and I am overcome with grief but always able to write to the loved one left behind. I seem to take it personally some how - you see, I realize I am still in this war with this BEAST and those still here and fighting are part of my war. I want so desperately for these wonderful warriors to win!!!!! Anyone, everyone, WIN!!! LIVE!!! BEAT THIS BEAST!!! My God, we can go to moon, isolate a gene, divide a cell, clone things - why then can't we cure this cancer!!! Anyway, when I read your post, it just deflated me. I felt drained in this fight and didn't know what to say to you Mike. There is, of course, no right thing to say, is there. I will say this though. So many of us caregivers on this board are women. I don't know why, but, your plight through your posts seemed to grab my heart instantly. Maybe because you are a man and men notoriously do not share deep emotions, especially with strangers. Your poignant, moving posts expressed your deep love for your wife and daughter. They also revealed your fear of losing your beloved wife and your fear of raising Alyssa without your wife. It also revealed an incredible strength in you Mike. It was obvious through your posts that you are strong, compassionate, kind and passionate. What I am trying to say Mike is that you are an extraordinary Dad for Alyssa. Your ability to share your deep emotions, plus the above listed qualities will be the tools to help you weather any storm you and/or Alyssa encounter. I did not know Shannon, but, am certain just from the glimpes of her you've given us, that she too knew you were a wonderfully qualified person to raise Alyssa without her being physically here with you. You do know Mike that Shannon is alive in your heart and in Alyssa's. You will keep her memory alive and your love for her as well. She is watching over you. I know how you are feeling right now, but, I also know that you, Mike will be okay. You are an extraordinary person! Please know we walk beside you in this journey and please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and Alyssa. God speed - Karen