Hi everyone - first of all, thank you to everyone who has responded to me. Your words have all been very encouraging. A quick recap - my mom was diagnosed with stage IV EC in late November - unusual because her first symptom was excruciating pain in the arm. As it turns out, the tumor in her esophagus never really developed and stayed soft and didn't grow out, so she has full, unobstructed use of her esophagus and eats with no problem (very lucky). However, she does have mets to bones and brain, with the brain being two microspots about 3-4mm in diameter.
She broke her arm after being treated for dehydration for 11 days after her first chemo - that was scary. She was home just after Christmas and it was special for all of us to be there.
She has now resumed and is on her fourth round of chemo after ahving a break for a week. Her broken bone is healing tremendously well. She is 62 years yound and overall, very healthy. She has lost about 19 lbs since this ordeal began (lack of eating mainly due to some depression, because some days she woofs down whatever she sees :) -
A few questions - she is going to start treatment for her low RBCs...Aranesp... is anyone familiar with this and can you tell me about your experience with it. I have been so positive for my mom and the rest of my family but found last night that I finally needed to let it out. I was up til about 4am sad, depressed, and crying thinking about my mom and dad and how it will just never be the same again. I want to tell myself that she has all the chances for some sort of remission as I have seen stage IV survivors. Her young age, soft tumor that allows her to eat (and I personally measure her progress, although not clinical, by the fact that the "tumor" doesn't seem to be growing and blocking anything), her reaction to the chemo (affecting her hair, RBCs and WBCs says to me that it HAS to be working, although I know this isn't neesarily true).....
All of that makes me want to say, well of course she has a chance. Am I setting myself up for failure or dissappointment by hoping for the best but expecting the worst? I just don't know anymore - but i do know that today in chemo, she feels better, she is receiving the treatment more as an every week routine and not a dreaded session, and she has had NO PAIN at all since her return from the hospital, which is a relief to everyone.
If there is anyone that would like to talk or pen pal, let me know - i think i need someone to talk to outside my family.
The big test will be February, when we go in for whole body scans again to see if there is any progress with the treatments.
Thanks for listening
Chris
PS. If any of you are alone, I think about you at some point almost everyday. My heart and prayers go out to those of you enduring this difficulty alone. Again, if any of you want to speak, I am here and willing to listen or talk about the weather - whatever necessary. God Bless