Hello All: I check the boards on a regular basis. I cannot say that I feel a whole lot better than before because it is not true. I still have thoughts wondering why my son, wondering if I could have done more, wondering if I was right in telling him to go, just wanting to hear his voice and see his dear face other than in pictures. I have put up pictures of Robbie and his family and his brothers and us all over my house. It makes me feel better to see him. I am not yet ready to return to the law office and I am seriously considering retiring one year earlier than planned. I planned to retire at 60 and I will be 59 in a few months. It still seems unreal to me that my son is gone and yet I know that it is all too true. I spend a lot of time with his daughters and they are afraid that something will happen to me and then what will happen to them while Mom works. Maria has no-one but my husband and I, one sister of her own and Robbie's brothers. Maria's sister does not live in Brantford and so she relies on me a lot and I hope that we are helping each other through this time. I am back doing some volunteer work at our church and hopefully this will help. We also have spent time with family and friends. I guess it is just going to take time to get to the "new normal". We are planning trips with the trailer which we bought last year to take Robbie and his family camping - we have to make new memories. Nothing seems to make a lot of sense to me right now. I know that my concentration is not there to go back to my legal assistant's job as I work in personal injury law. I have been considering this for some time and will make a final decision in a few months. I feel that right now I need to be available for Robbie's girls and cannot be if I am working. I am taking it one day at a time and hope to be able to give everyone better news soon. I wish all who are still fighting this demon all the best - somewhere there has to be something which can be done. For all who have lost their loved ones - I feel your pain and wish you God's Blessing.
Hugs to all - I feel as though I know you
Love Lynn