Ramona,
I am so sorry for what your husband, and you, are going thru. I have traveled down this road. My husband's only symptom was stomach pain, and it took 17 months before we found out what was really causing the pain. He had 2 scopes; the first in March 2004 with a biopsy of the outer edge of the "ulcer". Came back negative for cancer. Eight weeks later, in May, 2004, follow-up scope & biopsy, but this time, the biopsy was more involved. The dr. took samples from all over his stomach, and from all over the "ulcer", because in 8 weeks, the "ulcer" hadn't healed any after taking the meds. Seven days later, the doctor told me, rather than my husband, that it was cancer. It was a very aggressive cancer, they say, and I lost my husband exactly 375 days after being told he had cancer. He was 46; me, 41. I am broken. The light has gone from my life.
But, I tell you this because you must stay on top of this; every aspect of your husband's diagnosis, every aspect of his treatment. Make sure you understand everything that is going on. Ask questions, over & over, if necessary. Get all the information you can. Make sure you know what meds he is taking, and why. I would also advise getting a referral to a major cancer center such as CTCA or MD Anderson. The doctors treating my husband were arrogant, and resented my asking questions, especially when I seemed to know as much as they did about certain things. We were to travel to Houston to MD Anderson on May 3, 2004. My darling husband developed a blood clot in his leg on Friday, April 30, just hours AFTER BEING RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL. I was never informed about the possibility of a clot. When I phoned the dr. he asked me what I wanted to do. I was shocked. Back to the hospital we went, just a few hours after his release, and they did not do anything about the clot until Saturday, around 4 pm. They found the clot, put him on Wafarin, and he began vomiting blood. Because they did nothing until the next day, part of the clot broke off and traveled to his lung. All hell broke out after that. Needless to say, we didn't make it to MD Anderson. I am consumed by guilt. When I think about his pain, his suffering, it tears at my soul. I struggle daily to keep my sanity. I stress to you the importance of having some knowledge of your husband's treatment. My husband left all the decisions up to me; that's our relationship. He trusted me with his very life, as I would him with mine. Be there for him. He has a long, hard battle ahead of him. He will have good days & bad days, and on his bad days, he may be very ill, and he will try really hard to be strong. Let him know that it's ok for him to be vunerable; that's where you step in and carry him until he's better. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. He can beat this; NEVER GIVE UP!
Love, prayers & hugs,
Roger's loving wife, Sandra