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I Am Getting Scared

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Subject: I am getting scared
Date: 01/31/2008

I am 47 yo and was diagnosed with NMCLC in mid December.  The diagnosis came from a test i had due to another illness.  I was asymptomanic - felt fine. So this came as a complete surprise and I handled it quite well -asking the doc questions, not crying, talking to friends in a clinical fashion, etc,

I have had the CT tests, the PET- CT test, the bronchoscopy, the blood tests.  Surgery is next week and a procedure called VATS - Video Assisted Thorasic Surgery.- is being used.(Three incisions around the tumor are made:   one for the video, one for the surgeon, one for the drainage tube. Hospital stay approximately 5 days.  Was told by doc this is the best kind of cancer a person can get.  Will probably have to do chemo afterwards (and lose by long curly locks!)  So I was okay with all of this - it is what it is, I reasoned.  But as the surgery date looms closer and I read entries on these on-line forums, I am getting scared. Two weeks ago I was rushed to the hospital with breathing problems and severe chest pains. The doc could not reason what happened.

 The breathing gets worse every day,  After completing a small activity, my breathing becomes labored and then the chest pain starts (like an elephant sitting on my chest stabbing me with a knife.) The nebulizer medication makes me shake so badly I have stopped using it.

Please, if you have the time, could you  please drop a line and let me know if I am being unreasonable in my feelings or does everyone with cancer go through these feelings of fear and nervousness.  I have been sick most of my life with a variety of illnesses and have never been frightened like this.

Thank you for sharing and for your time.

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