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My Dad

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julieka68
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Subject: my dad
Date: 02/04/2008

Just wanted to update everyone on my dad.  He was supposed to start his second round of chemo today (stage IV EC) but they have stopped it due to his weight issue.  He hasn't eaten for several days....can't.  I am basically living with the knowledge that my father is starving to death.  I live out of state and was just home for a  week to be with him.  It's AWFUL to watch someone you love go through all this suffering.  I thought for sure that they would just stop and he would decide to call in hospice.  But today they did a CT to see if the tumor is growing.  Tomorrow they will discuss results and other options.  They are talking about radiation now and maybe another form of chemo.   He was taking    5FU and Cisplatin.  He was in a clinical trial and don't know if he was receiving Avastin or not.  Is radiation really going to help him eat any better than chemo?  That would take too long wouldn't it?  He has a feeding  tube but can't even get in 1 oz an hour.  He's just wasting away.  This is so frustrating....I wish he would pass away today.  As horribly as I would miss him..the suffering would finally be over.  I don't think anything is going to help him at this point, but I guess it's his decision.  I'm having a hard time with God right now.  Anyone else have that issue?

Julie

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