On 2/9/2008
KatyB wrote:
This has been a rough week for my husband and I. I don't post messages that often about his condition because I feel so badly for those of you just entering this nightmare. He has survived 28 months in stage IV because he fought hard in the beginning and was young (48) and otherwise strong and healthy. His cancer continues to grow and in addition to mets to his spine and brain it has now invaded his liver and another thoracic vertabrae.
In January his ability to eat diminished greatly and even the EGD didn't help. He began vomitting almost daily even though he couldn't eat anything or drink much water or other liquids. The pain in his back and abdomen wasn't being controlled by the Fentanyl pain patch even when it was doubled. I called his doc and took him in 3 times for hydration and no medicines were really helping control the nausea. He had a nerve block to try and alleviate the spine and rib pain but the pain relief was minimal and only lasted a couple of days.
Last Friday his oncologist said she consulted with the anesthesiologist and he suggested a pain pump be implanted to deliver pain medicine via the intrathecal space in his spine. That was done on Monday and it does seem to be providing some relief. They also placed a peg tube in his stomach and while he was in the hospital they started a small amount of continuous feeding through the tube. That went ok and he feels more comfort now from having some type of nutrition going into his stomach. He had the peg tube in the very beginning and it was the only way he could get anything to eat and we're back to that again. The difference is that we know we're at the end so it won't be coming out.
He came home from the hospital on Friday and we're both exhausted. As soon as we got home he started having intense leg pain. He has had this pain for a few weeks now and they thought the pump should take care of all of his pain issues and it hasn't. We will already need to go back to have the pain medicine increased. Travelling the 7 miles (we are lucky to be close) to the hospital campus is very rough on him. It makes him anxious and he doesn't want to leave home at all.
The doctor told him while he was in the hospital that he may need to have another procedure done to allow him to swallow his own saliva. He was given 3 options and none of them are pleasant. This news caused more anxiety but we appreciated that he talked with us about it.
My husband is feeling very anxious and afraid and it makes my heart ache. We know he is near the end and every time he sleeps I am terrified that he isn't going to wake up. We love each other so much and it hurts both of us to know that we aren't going to be together much longer.