I found out a year ago I have HPV and it hasn't cleared up. On Monday I had a leep, which was very painful. I am horrified and freaked out what the future holds. I am 32 and still want to have children, I can't stop crying about things. I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, but I have no one to talk to, other than my boyfrien, I don't want any of my friends or family to know. I look back now on not always using protection, but the men I have been with have been minimal and always in a serious relationship. I got HPV from my current boyfriend, and a part of me is furious at him. I try not to let it show, but my emotions are all over the place.