A Not So Good Best Case Scenario

On 2/23/2008 skirky wrote:

My husband who was diagnosed with metastatic rectal cancer in September last year, has been struggling with a small bowel obstruction for about 7 weeks now (has an ileostomy).  He has no quality of life (pain, vomiting & distension).  He has lost a great deal of weight and is now below 50 kilos, has little energy and looks dreadful.

Tomorrow he is having surgery.  The surgeons "best case scenario" is that they will be able to resect the small bowel without complications, then two weeks of recovery, with him coming home on a normal diet.  After his wound has healed they expect him to start on chemotherapy.  All this with a view to an extra six months with us!

And that's the 'best case' scenario.

If there are complications, if he can't handle food, if he isn't deemed ft enough for chemo - then how long - less than six months.

I know he has to have this surgery.  If he doesn't then we lose him faster and he has no chance of coming home first.

I always knew this was a possibility, on diagnoses we were told one to two years.  And this 'best case' scenario means he'll have made it just to one year.  i guess hope and optimism can lead to dissapointment.

Now i'm facing widowhood, lonliness and single motherhood much sooner than i had hoped.  And just how am i supposed to manage a career as well!

 

I am sorry to hear about what is going on with you and your family, and sorry for myself which is so close to what you are going through.  My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 rectal cancer last Feb.  He has bravely gone through 3 surgeries (one was a total flop on the lung!), radiation and chemo.  We were all hopeful until his last surgery which he was supposed to have the last known tumor removed from his lung.  During recovery, 3 more nodules grew in his lung and became inoperable.  He started chemo just last week and found that the 5FU is inducing heart attack symptoms and he had to stop it right away.  I have 4 kids under 13 and a full-time job.  The oncologist sounded grim when describing the situation to me. He does not want support from anyone and is near giving up and refuse even to discuss about options.  I hang in there but is hard.  Every morning I wake up to the reality of fighting another day.  There is not at moment I don't think about what else I can do, what if something happens, how do handle my kids' emotions and how do I carry on?

God bless

Cecilia