Please don't give up, get your husband to one of the nationally recognized cancer centers, here is their web page: http://www.nccn.org/members/network.asp
My hubby was originally diagnosed in July with stage three, then we went immediately to Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, thinking he would get the surgery. They did another PET scan and diagnosed him as Stage 4, with mets to the distant lymph nodes. He also lit up like a Christmas tree, all over his body in his lymph nodes. So, surgery was NOT an option. We were dazed, shocked, desperate, all the things you are feeling. BUT, Moffitt found a local board certified cancer treatment center, and they ordered 19 weeks of aggressive chemo. He is now totally in remission, no "lights" on the PET scan, and his esophageal tumor is gone. We know that it will eventually return, probably in the liver, but there are so many new treatments available, at that point, radiation, PDA, etc. So, DON'T STOP FIGHTING, get your hubby to one of these centers ASAP and get treatment from a facility that knows what to do. Hope this helps, good luck and stay strong!!!