HI Katy-Sorry you and your husband are going through such hard times. This is such a cruel disease. Hope you've had some success with the pain since you posted. I know what you mean about missing the laugh, smile, etc. Those are things that I always miss most when it's bad. I wish I had more that I could offer you besides a few words. I always push tongren, but realize many of us just think it's too much of a stretch to try, or can't possibly imagine how making a phone call to receive energy from people hammering on acupuncture dolls could possibly help. I always feel those of us facing this disease have nothing to lose, and there are many patients with various types of cancer who have been healed, and I have heard from those who had people who didn't survive that it did give them comfort and better quality of life nonetheless. You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you have a peaceful, painfree day.