There is no apology needed. I just felt inclined to update.
I am thankful to hear anytime that someone is able to keep this horrific disease in check. My angel and I never had a fighting chance, even if it had been diagnosed sooner it was very aggressive and in a terrible location.
Do you go to a sarcoma specialist? Where were your reoccurrences and did you have your tumors all removed?
My dr also suggested a bereavement councelor but I have a difficult time opening up face to face with someone that hasn't earned my trust. I talk alot w/my family and friends, also occasionally on this msg. board.
How is your husband coping? You are correct. The spouse feels responsible to "fix" their mates problem. You vow to take care of each other and then something like this simply ties your hands and you can only sit back and watch your partener be attacked. You feel so helpless. I even felt like I was betraying DAVE because I couldn't make it go away. I even stopped eating when DAVE did. I have lived on ENSURE or yogurt protein drinks since AUG. I simply felt guilty if I ate and he couldn't. The mind is a complex thing. I know all of the correct answers but I guess only time will help me to get turned back around. During his illness my mind and hands were kept busy caring for him, then poof it was over leaving my hands and mind idle all of a sudden. That is when the depression truly started setting in. I did get an anti-depressant(CYMBALTA) I would probably notice it IS working if I quit taking it? I still have raging, crying S**TFITS but they aren't several times a day anymore. I sometimes can make it a couple of days but just like the food, I feel guilty if I have a good day even tho I know that all of DAVES are good now:) It's just my selfish side that misses seeing/touching him:( Hopefully soon I'll learn how to handle life w/o his physical presence?Peace, love and prayers, Connie