Connie,
I think we as patients do not realize how any illness affects our spouse. We are in so much pain and suffering, we forget our mate is suffering emotionally because they feel helpless to help us. My husband handled it very well but it has taken it's toll on him as well healthwise. He walked every step of the way with me. It sounds like you did too. You have no reason to feel guilty, your husband would not want you to be feeling this way. You are grieving right now. There is no length of time for grieving. Take all the time you need to get into the swing of things again. There should be no time limit. In time, you will come around again. You will be looking for your friends, neighbors, relatives and making new acquaintances. Some people are more outgoing than others and find peace in being solitary, others seek company. It is up to you to decide how to end your emotional prison that you are in right now. When the time is right, you will know.
>>>>Do you go to a sarcoma specialist? Where were your reoccurrences and did you have your tumors all removed? <<<
I went to a sarcoma center, the biggest cancer center in NYC, MSKCC. I do not have a sarcoma specialist, I have someone I think knows all about what I have and has treated me with knowledge and respect. He is doing the best he can for me and does research on how to treat me. So far, it has worked. I had 3 recurrences of 4 to 5 tumors between both lungs. I had a retroperitoneal tumor(pelvic) recurrence. I had only surgery, no chemo, no radiation. I still have 4-5 tumors between both lungs and they are not growing since I took Femara even though I am off it a year and a half. I am a walking miracle as far as I am concerned. I can't explain why I am still here but whatever this drug was, it helped me along with having surgery to remove my other recurrences. I have had 15 LMS/ESS tumors to date. I guess my doctor has found a way for now for not promoting growth. If I have to, I will go back on the drug again. I have been lucky and I am grateful for all the years I have been given are a bonus for me as I have had the opportunity to grow old gracefully. I pray that there will be a cure or a proper protocol for sarcomas in the near future.
Rosalie