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Rn Scared

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Subject: RN scared
Date: 03/23/2008
Hi  I am a nurse so unfortunately I know toooo much when it comes to the bad stuff that happens to people.  I have recently had two abnormal pap smears and HBV positive test.  I recently had a colposcopy biospy which showed CIN 2.  I am scheduled for LEEP procedure next month.  I have read all of the possible complication of the procedure.  I am scared of being in pain for days.  I don't like the thought of bleeding for a long period of time either.  I can relate to some of the people's message about being ashamed of having a STD!!!!  I did not tell my husband about my problems until they called me wtih not so good news about the biospys.  I did tell him some about it, but left out a lot of information.  I can be there for others when they need me emotionally but I have a hard time letting people be there for me.  I am suppose to be the strong one.  But this matter isn't making me soooo strong.  I just want to wake up from this bad dream of reality and just go on with life as nothing was wrong.  I am 30, never had a child and would like to have children in the next year or so.  LEEP procedure lessens the chance of being able to carry a child.  I think I have come to terms if GOD doesn't want me to have a child then I can accept that but if I have cancer......I just can't accept that right now!!!  If anyone has any advice for me......please help me!!!!

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