Candye,
I had my Whipple done for the same type of tumor last summer. Overall, my experience was much better than I expected based on the research done before the surgery. I spent 10 days in the hospital, started driving two days after the discharge, returned to work five weeks after the surgery. I lost about 20% of my body weight, 10% immediately after the surgery and 10% within a couple of months following it.
A few things that I believe make a huge difference:
1) Be prepared emotionally: it's going to be tough, but it is doable. I think part of the reason I did well was that I had no choice and I gave myself 5 weeks to recover, period.
2) Push yourself a little bit. The docs will encourage you to start moving on Day 2 (sitting in bed first, walking on the floor after that). You may feel not ready yet, but do try to do a little bit more than you think you can handle. Your body will thank you for that.
3) Make sure you have the surgery at a good medical center. The success rates vary dramatically for established centers and smaller hospitals. I would make sure your surgeon does the Whipple at least once a week.
In regards to the alternative medicine: practice it to supplement the traditional methods. Someone here mentioned Steve Jobs who had the same tumor a few years ago. A less know fact is that initially he didn't want to have a surgery either. He tried the alternative medicine for about 9 months and had to do his surgery anyways. Well, he is a Buddhist, a vegetarian and, as I suspect, he has funds and access to do the latest and greatest medicine available.
Good luck!