Shelly,
It appears your doctors are making an aggressive stance to fight your cancer. I understand your need to be in control. I have asked my wife to give up some of her duties at our work to an outside company and she refuses. I now understand why. As her world has seem to have changed overnight, work is still something she can control.
My wife began Yoga classes to relieve some of the stress and to keep in shape. And of course, she has improved her diet, eating only fresh foods and as many veggies as she can. There is a ton of experience out there on how others have fought their battles. There doesn't seem to be that much information on unknown primary, though.
These message boards have helped tremendously. Personal experiences are so much more informitive than the articles found out there. There is a certain stress to being the caregiver, a helplessness, a fear of loss. I tend to think our situation is unique and no one can understand but then I read about patients who are also caregivers and the patients themselves and their courage and the paths they must walk and it puts everything in perspective.
Good luck to your and may you be blessed with continued positive Pet Scans.
Michael