On 4/17/2008
eyelash wrote:
Jessica,, I hear you loud and clear
I too had a billateral masectomy due to two types of cancer,, ductal and lobular. Vast lymph node involvement. They took 19 of them. No lymphodemia yet. But I sit and wait. I'm on Arimidex and posted here about how it causes depression and I've got it big time. Maybe I have an anxiety disorder. I"ve never gone to anyone for it. I'm just assuming thats what it is. I'm seeing a heart specialits to see why my heart races so hard I have to lay down for up to an hour. They say my tests are fine. I have no sex drive,, I had reconstruction and now sport two hard painful breasts that I know will have to be reduced or removed in time. I'm holding out as long as I can because I have cleavage. I'm in a dark place on a nice sunny spring day. I feel the same as you and if that gives you any releif I'm glad. I don't know what to say to help you. I'm 45,,, and assuming my life is over. I feel like it is anyway. I give the others on here alot of credit for being so strong. Dieing with dignity. ... How the heck can I do that. I'm clawing and bitter,,,,,and resentful that this happened to me. I think we will be ok.. Lets at least hang on to that for now. I just need a new drug that won't make me feel like crap.
Lynn
Ladies,
I don't know who you are refering to, "dieing with dignity". Myself and HUNDREDS more on this forum are "LIVING with cancer". I know it is tough, one of my Doctors has already told me that my cancer will eventually kill me.....well DUHHH!!!!!!!! I just smiled and replied,"Hell Doc, I never planned to live forever anyway and I hope you didn't either because you are going to be real disappointed some day".
I have beat cancer at it's nasty little game twice. I don't believe in strike three and you're out, I believe in third time charm. I may win the next time and if I don't......maybe the fourth time. You can never give up, never give in. No matter how bad you think it is, somewhere on this big old ball someone has it worse, without cancer.
In a nutshell, as posted and used many times in this forum, "DON'T DIE FROM CANCER, LIVE WITH IT".
Even if you think you are alone, you're not. We are all here and just a few keystrokes away.
Mark