Hi Sandy,
My husband was diagnosed in July last year with an aggressive invasive bladder cancer. He went through 4 rounds of chemo followed by a radical prostectomy (bladder, prostate removed). He was really sick with a bladder infection and staph infection that were difficult to kill and was hospitalized twice during the chemo period.
I needed to make some critical decisions about how to manage myself. I didn't want people to know about it at work so I shared with 2 trusted friends who kept my confidences and took me to lunch and just listened to me.
My husband & I did not want to involve his elderly mother unless things got really bad. I count that decision as one of my saviours.
I saw my physician and got a prescription for a sleeping aid; I really needed to get deep full sleep and it worked well.
I kept myself busy with researching cancer, subscribing to online newsletters, reading about treatment regimens and writing a literature review of what I had read. I built files of articles. I learned a lot about every aspect of the cancer.
I got busy applying for his disability insurance and Social Security disability application. When I wasn't working I was obsessively researching and building files.
Food was a comfort and I probably gained 10 pounds.
I saw a counselor and had a few visits; she was great.
My husband & I updated our wills and set up revocable trusts.
It was like living in a movie set because it was all so surreal.
The surgery followed the diagnosis by 6 months. After the surgery I was appalled at how fatigued I was. I went back to work a bit too early.
Hope this is helpful. Write anytime. Take care of yourself, too.
-Elizabeth